The Children’s Reaction to New Friends

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Once a stable family unit is disrupted it can take a little time for things to settle down again. If new relationships are formed, they will raise questions. The skill of ensuring stability returns is a challenge facing a parent introducing a new companion to their children.


A new relationship developing

When you meet someone new, you begin as friends but in time it goes further. You get to the stage where you feel you need to introduce this friend to your children. You will never be quite sure what the reaction will be.

On the one hand, they will certainly want you to enjoy your later years but they may not have quite worked out what they want for you. When it comes to you starting a new relationship they may have mixed feelings, especially if their other parent is still alone.

Grown apart

There are many reasons why you may have separated after many years of marriage. You may simply have grown apart and at the time there was no one else around. However, people who have spent the whole of their adult life in a partnership sometimes find it difficult to live a single life. You can suddenly do what you want when you want, which might seem great for a while, but the novelty soon wears off. You can start to miss not having someone to talk to on a cold winter’s night.

It is neither an exclusively male nor female situation. Both sexes can experience this. What, if anything, they do about it can vary. Each may have plenty of friends from the clubs they have joined over the years, the local pub and their work. That does not necessarily mean that there are people within those circles who can become close companions, something more than just friends. Many of those existing friends may well be couples, and at times it is possible to feel alone amongst couples.

Website dating

This is one of the reasons why you may begin to actively look for a new relationship. It is unlikely you will confide in your children if you join a website that specialises in introducing singles to each other. You probably feel you don’t want anyone to know when you register and post a profile. Other members will see that profile as you can see theirs, but you never actually have to meet anyone unless you agree. You may begin to correspond via email and it may never go any further than that.

If the website is successful and you meet someone new, and things develop well, the moment approaches when you will probably need to talk to the children and that may be as nerve racking as plucking up the courage to start dating again. It is something that the children may take a little while to accept but in the vast majority of cases it will not be a problem.

Dating for seniors is becoming a popular activity precisely because so many people are now separating after many years together. As life expectancy grows, people in their 60s can even think of another 20 years of fairly active life. It is not a time to sit at home and grow old.

Image attributed to        stockimages


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